Nurse you back to health
by QuietPianist
Summary: Hanji is badly wounded, Armin has to take charge. Separated from the rest of the group, they are left alone with their demons.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: In this Hanji is agender, so I'm using they/them pronouns, also Im referring to them as Squad Leader (there had been some stuff in the manga and they were sort of commander but then they weren't? idk) **

**WARNING: manga spoilers and a bit of (fairly explicit, I think) gorey stuff in the middle**

**Disclaimer, I don't own Attack on Titan or its characters**

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The mission was set, the plan was decided on, and everyone was ready. The group moved silently with only the rustling of leaves and the thumping of the horses' hooves to break the silence that hung around them, heavy with foreboding and the promise of a long and hard day. Soon enough, they were at the entrance of the underground chamber beneath the church. The operation was now well underway. All thoughts of fear and apprehension were overshadowed by an adrenaline rush that brightened the dim light of the chamber, amplified shouts and cries, and brought out every minuscule detail into painful sharpness. Everyone played their part to the letter, and a wave of hope washed over Armin momentarily. He watched from behind Sasha as his friends took to the air on their 3D manoeuver gear. He was sure that Hanji flashed him a grin, ear to ear and brimming with anticipation, but he blinked and they were gone. There was no time to dwell on a grin that may or may not have happened, so he took up his place just beyond the door, behind cover.

Time ceased to make sense from then on. He did not know if five minutes or five hours passed in which he watched his friends battle with the Central Police. He focused on his task as much as possible, shooting smoke flares to keep his comrades covered. Beside him, Sasha fired away with her bow. Levi and Mikasa ploughed through person after person with inhuman speed and precision. He watched as Jean did the same, his prior hesitation at taking human lives all but gone.

Despite the chaos around him, he couldn't help but fall into memory lane. He ran through the conversations he'd had with his team the night before. How he'd come up with the strategy. But then, he was brought back to the present. A gunshot. Much like the countless others that rang in the chamber. Lance Corporal Levi's face of shock. A curt order from him and Armin was running, flying, down the stairs and rushing to fallen Squad Leader Hanji's side. As the rest of the group chased after their retreating enemies, Armin kneeled beside Hanji.

For a few agonising moments, they were completely still and silent. Armin felt his chest compress and his hands start shaking violently, hovering just above the Squad Leader's back. Soon enough, a ragged breath and low fragmented moan assured Armin that his superior was alive. With a shaky breath, he placed a hand on their side. His mind was blank. What was he going to do now?

"S-squad leader?" His voice was shaky and hoarse, his throat tight. He cleared it a couple of times to no avail. _Never mind, Hanji is not in a condition to be talking right now._

He surveyed the Squad Leader's limp body with a sense of helplessness. They were lying face down on the cold floor, right arm raised beyond their head still holding the blade, left arm down by their side and blood flowing from a wound on the shoulder. Armin set to work trying to remove Hanji's gear without moving the rest of their body. It proved to be more difficult than he anticipated, and he ended up having to cut most of the straps. As he removed the last straps, he had to shift their body slightly, eliciting a low half-hearted whimper.

Next, Armin set about stopping the bleeding as much as possible. He knew that the bullet was probably still in the wound, and he debated over whether he should take it out himself. Hanji was fully unconscious now, so causing them extra pain would not be a major problem.

_What the hell, Armin, what are you thinking?_

With a deep breath, Armin pulled the Squad Leader so that they were on their side, the wounded shoulder by his lap, warm blood still oozing almost lazily from the opening. Heaving deep breaths and steeling his nerves, Armin tentatively touched the wound. A spasm of nausea shook his whole body as soon as he felt the sticky, warm texture of exposed skin and meat, and he had to turn his face to the side and retch. His head spun and tears stung in his eyes. His arms felt like jelly and his fingers curled up involuntarily. With a strangled whimper, he probed deeper, choking back the sobs and the vomit rising in his throad, until the warm flesh gave way to smooth metal.

Armin extracted the bullet form the wound and threw it away. After retching some more, he set about placing a pad of cloth over the wound and pressing down. He was openly crying now. He could feel the blood on his hands. His mouth was completely dry. Hanji's life was literally in his hands, coating them. He used the straps from Hanji's gear to tie the cloth pad down and set the Squad Leader back onto their stomach. He leaned back on his heels, shaking and panting. He threw up for real now, probably more than once.

What happened afterward was vague and uncertain, but soon enough Armin was being helped to his feet. Somehow, someone helped him carry Hanji outside and place them on a wooden carriage. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered, unable to look up.

"Armin!" A firm but kind voice. Moblit? It didn't matter, he was back to reality. Partially, at least. He felt cold water wash over his hands. He threw some over his face and felt his mind snap back into place. He thanked Moblit with a shaky voice. The older man nodded at him grimly.

Looking around him, Armin noticed they were at the church's entrance. It was completely silent, but he knew that below him there was probably chaos and death. Sparing a thought for his teammates and for Eren, still captive, he started to walk.

Armin made his way back to Hanji's side. Their wound had a new dressing and they were still unconscious. He sat by their side, listening to their ragged breaths. In the spur of the moment, Armin placed a hand on the Squad Leader's unwounded arm and heard a deep sigh. For the longest time, he could not decide if it had been from him or from Hanji.

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**Hope you enjoyed, fave and review if you did :)**

**P.S. I personally see Hanji as a woman, but this is for a friend who sees her as agender, hence the they/them pronouns**


	2. Chapter 2

_**So the direction this took is less of an AruHan fic as I originally planned. I like how it turned out, although it was kind of unexpected (which is weird, since I was the one writing it and ok I don't know, I'm rambling now). **_

_**Anyway, this is obviously a different set of events from the manga. I took a lot of creative liberties, but I hope you like it. **_

The decision to accompany Squad Leader Hanji was made for him accidentally.

Armin had dozed off, still beside his superior. His dreams had been tumultuous, or so he thought. Though he couldn't remember them, Armin could still feel the tension at his shoulders, the slightly increased heart rate when he woke up. He could still feel them in his stomach, like a heavy block of lead.

Armin barely had time to rub the sleep from his eyes before chaos broke and he was rushed from one side to another. The ground rumbled and shook and finally opened up like the mouth of an earth giant emerging from sleep, hungry and angry. And what did emerge from that hole was, in fact, giant, probably hungry, and palpably angry. Armin, however, was too busy rushing the wounded Hanji to safety to really take a look at whatever emerged. That was just as well.

"Squad Leader, are you alright?" He checked their bandages, fearing that the jostling and the rumbling may have had some kind of effect.

"Other than the bullet wound on my side?" Hanji wheezed. Though they seem to have made remarkable progress in the space of a few hours, Armin could tell they were still in pain. They chuckled. "I'll live."

_I hope so. _

Armin checked the bandages and dressings once more before running to meet his fellow soldiers emerging from the hole in the ground, but before he got to them Moblit stopped him. He was to take the Squad Leader to Survey Corps headquarters immediately. Never mind the fact that Eren Jaeger, humanity's hope and his best friend, was a few feet below them. Never mind that he hadn't seen him in what felt like forever. Never mind that when he'd left the underground chamber his friends had stayed behind to fight. Never mind.

And that is how Armin ended up on a horse trailing Hanji Zoe's cart, heading towards a headquarters castle he knew nothing about. They travelled through the night, the rumble of the giant titan's movements following them for a few hours before they died away, melting into the darkness.

For hours there was no sound but the seeming omnipresent hooting of an owl. Armin, in his dazed and tired state, couldn't tell where the owl was. At times it sounded like it was yards away, to his left. Sometimes he felt that it was resting on his shoulder, hooting into his ear, encouraging him, spurring him forward, keeping him awake. There came a terrifying interval in which Armin couldn't tell whether the hooting was real and present in the physical world, or whether he was the only one hearing it. He felt its reverb in his ears, he felt the vibrations rattle in his skull, like a coin in a can. He felt the hoots deep in his core.

He couldn't for the life of him figure out what they meant. So he rode on.

The sky lightened eventually. The sun rose and spread its fingers over the land, bringing the madness in Armin's head to an end. With the early chirps of the birds came Hanji's blubbers. They whimpered, wheezed, shifted in their sleep. When the sun hovered fully over the horizon, the company stopped briefly.

Armin sat by Hanji, fed them and dribbled water into their mouth. He took a few gulps of water and a couple of bites of bread, but nothing more. Without the excitement and constant danger he was now used to, Armin felt restless, and his stomach refused to accept anything more.

_What are you doing here?_

He should be with his legion. He should be helping them deal with the new challenge. Surely there were people at risk. And here he was, resting with Hanji Zoe. Running away.

Helpless.

Cowardly.

_Useless. _


End file.
